The time is 7:35am. The sun is out and has been for almost 2 hours. My sleep schedule is fucked. I should get back to normal time, but it is during the night and earliest hours of the morning that I find my solitude. You'd think that being by myself with only my dogs around me as company all day would be solitude enough for me, but I still hear the noises that aren't there. A rush of cars, the loud neighbours as they drink away the day, the tiniest sound that sends my dogs into an alarming frenzy. No, night is where my sanity and sanctuary lies. My sister is never here these days so I can crank my music and sing foolishly but proudly at the top of my lungs. I can watch dorky videos on YouTube or chat with friends without someone nosing in on what I'm doing. I can do secretive things like write in my blog or load my photography/writings to DA. I can watch all the movies she doesn't like and and scream loudly at the TV whenever a football game is on.
I do need sleep sometime though. The house won't clean itself, and I cannot rely on her to be here to help. No, it's just me. My bed beckons me. Maybe I should go say hello and goodnight(day).
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Being the girl...Or how I figured out life.
Tonight, I have come to realize a few things.
1. Life is not as bad as you make it out to be and only gets its devious knack to bring you down from you letting it do so.
2. It's all the small, little things that make life truly awesome.
Earlier, my father called me. The time was around 3pm. He asked what I was doing. The day was boring, and I said I was not doing anything. He told me he had picked up the dog food I had asked him to get for our dogs, and was bringing it over. He also told me to get ready so we could go out. Go out? I didn't know why or for what, but I got my stuff ready to lock up the house. He brought the food, I fed the dogs and locked the house up. My daddy then proceeded to take me out for ice cream. We talked, laughed, had fun. I went with him to the condo my parents rent and where my youngest sister lives. We had just picked her up from work and once 'home' we had proceeded to make dinner. Grilled cheese and turkey sandwiches. Nothing fancy, but they were delicious. After eating, we sat in their living room and ordered a movie off of Front Row. We watched the Pink Panther 2. Was pretty good, shared some laughs and then, once that was over I stayed awhile and he drove me home. The whole turn of events, while not extraordinary, made my day.
Right now, I am sitting here currently having the most odd, but hilariously fun conversations. Some with friends, some with random people. I have music on and am drinking Diet Coke <3. I am reading MLIA and laughing my ass off. Some of these things are not out of normal activity for me, and yet today I feel happy. Happiness is a feeling I have not found myself experiencing much in past months, but today I am.
I need to take back the power that sadness has had over me for so long. Sure life has a lot of sad things about it right now, like no job, no money, stress that comes with both of those, but they do not define me. Being the girl who everyone turns to in a bind, is. Being the girl who likes to sing stupid songs at the top of her lungs, is. Being the girl who loves everyone as much as she can, despite race or background or age, is. Being the girl who takes a photo and sees the beauty in small things, is. Being the girl who loves CFL and can tell you how much points a field goal gets you or the number of her favorite player, is. Being the girl who can be content sitting at her desk, listening to music, talking to random strangers, is.
Being me defines who I am. What defines you?
1. Life is not as bad as you make it out to be and only gets its devious knack to bring you down from you letting it do so.
2. It's all the small, little things that make life truly awesome.
Earlier, my father called me. The time was around 3pm. He asked what I was doing. The day was boring, and I said I was not doing anything. He told me he had picked up the dog food I had asked him to get for our dogs, and was bringing it over. He also told me to get ready so we could go out. Go out? I didn't know why or for what, but I got my stuff ready to lock up the house. He brought the food, I fed the dogs and locked the house up. My daddy then proceeded to take me out for ice cream. We talked, laughed, had fun. I went with him to the condo my parents rent and where my youngest sister lives. We had just picked her up from work and once 'home' we had proceeded to make dinner. Grilled cheese and turkey sandwiches. Nothing fancy, but they were delicious. After eating, we sat in their living room and ordered a movie off of Front Row. We watched the Pink Panther 2. Was pretty good, shared some laughs and then, once that was over I stayed awhile and he drove me home. The whole turn of events, while not extraordinary, made my day.
Right now, I am sitting here currently having the most odd, but hilariously fun conversations. Some with friends, some with random people. I have music on and am drinking Diet Coke <3. I am reading MLIA and laughing my ass off. Some of these things are not out of normal activity for me, and yet today I feel happy. Happiness is a feeling I have not found myself experiencing much in past months, but today I am.
I need to take back the power that sadness has had over me for so long. Sure life has a lot of sad things about it right now, like no job, no money, stress that comes with both of those, but they do not define me. Being the girl who everyone turns to in a bind, is. Being the girl who likes to sing stupid songs at the top of her lungs, is. Being the girl who loves everyone as much as she can, despite race or background or age, is. Being the girl who takes a photo and sees the beauty in small things, is. Being the girl who loves CFL and can tell you how much points a field goal gets you or the number of her favorite player, is. Being the girl who can be content sitting at her desk, listening to music, talking to random strangers, is.
Being me defines who I am. What defines you?
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Happy
Things that make me happy:
* E.S.M.
* CFL Football
* MLIA
* Friends
* Good movies
* Shopping
* Photography
* My dogs
* Rain
* Writing
* Music
* Singing
* Diet Coke
* Christmas
* Cooking
I've felt a bit happier these days and I felt the need to return here. I've been getting more into photography...I'm feeling creative again.. It's so wonderful, so I had to share. :)
* E.S.M.
* CFL Football
* MLIA
* Friends
* Good movies
* Shopping
* Photography
* My dogs
* Rain
* Writing
* Music
* Singing
* Diet Coke
* Christmas
* Cooking
I've felt a bit happier these days and I felt the need to return here. I've been getting more into photography...I'm feeling creative again.. It's so wonderful, so I had to share. :)
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